


Prawns of Loki

by RedRhubarb



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Definitely not a serious one shot, Drinking, Gen, One Shot, Prawnsome, Silly, Thórr (background), You already know TF is going on, just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:21:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28575180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRhubarb/pseuds/RedRhubarb
Summary: "It all began with a small mistake. One single tiny mistake. Yet Loki felt like ripping her purple hair out of her skull if it didn’t wither on its own first. All she had wanted to do was to torment some formas, images of heroes, in a tactical game she had devised… they were to be her pawns.But all she got was prawns."**Inspired by me misreading "pawns of loki" as "prawns of loki"
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Prawns of Loki

It all began with a small mistake. One single tiny mistake. Yet Loki felt like ripping her purple hair out of her skull if it didn’t wither on its own first. All she had wanted to do was to torment some formas, images of heroes, in a tactical game she had devised… they were to be her pawns. 

But all she got was prawns.

She had written an order to Anna to deliver her “all things related to prawns” and being the effective salesperson Anna was, she had done just that without questioning if “prawns” could perhaps be a printing error. Now Loki was drowning in frozen prawn rings, live giant tiger prawns crawled on the floor of her mansion, a couple prawn plushies waited for an embrace (or a good beating?) on her luxurious bed, on the handmade carpet were pieces of prawn-decorated armor that was most definitely not Loki’s size. Loki had been too confused to prevent Anna from taking her money when the stuff was delivered, and Loki had no idea how to apply for a refund or send live prawns back to mortal realm. But the constant clicking and crawling of prawns on her marble floor was driving her nuts.

There was a knock on the door and Thórr waltzed in without waiting for Loki to open the door – not that she was going to open it anyway. There could have been a human-sized prawn waiting outside. “Pray tell, what’s happening here?” Thórr asked after a single glance around the apartment. Something must have been out of place in Loki’s manor, which was usually in a nice order and simply radiated luxury with floors made of marble, furniture made from heavy and noble wood, all of it lit by a vast array of scented candles. 

Loki poured herself a giant glass of red wine. “I don’t want to talk about it” she answered and drank the wine in a one big gulp. Maybe it would make her feel less like an idiot.

“I believe you invited me here to get my ass beaten by your pawns, but I see you had another plan in mind. Am I to believe these prawns are capable of something else than looking miserable?” Thórr asked, looking amused. In her neat white dress and braided blue hair, she looked like a goddess compared to all the prawns running around at her feet. Well, she was a goddess so that must have explained it.

“Would you care a prawn ring?” Loki asked while desperately wishing to bury herself underground and pointed at the towering pile of frozen prawn rings at the corner of her living room. They were already beginning to melt, and Loki could smell the fishy insides. Where would she even dump them all? 

“Loki… You are wasting my time.”

“You have nothing but time! Just help me get rid of these prawns!”

“Deal with your own mess” Thórr sneered and stomped out of the manor before the problem was hers too. Loki sighed. 

“Coward.”

\- - 

Once she had taken a couple more glasses of wine and numbed her worst feelings of despair, she decided she might as well make the prawns useful. She prepared the game board meant for her strategic game of Pawns of Loki, but today she wished to have a round of Prawns of Loki.

“Alright you little worms, let’s see how you fare in a fight” she muttered and picked up some of the giant tiger prawns that had not found a safe place to hide at in Loki’s mansion. She threw them on the board, both on her and the enemy’s side. “Action!”

Sadly but not surprisingly the prawns did not care for her antics but they were certainly interested in the board itself, curiously investigating every inch of it. Loki got mad and threw the board off table, along with the tiny players. “Don’t you get it?! You’re just prawns- pawns in my game!” Oh gods. She made the pawn/prawn mistake again. Maybe she should cancel the entire game or rename it to avoid making stupid mistakes again.

Loki was about to pour herself another glass of good red vine but as she was opening the bottle, she decided to opt for water instead. She needed to clear her head or else she would descend to madness. Think Loki, think, there must be a way to get rid of the prawns.

And then an idea dawned her. She could not erase the problem, but she could make it someone else’s problem. She had always wished for vengeance upon Askrian royals, those goody two-shoes who always ruined her plans. Especially that boy Alfonse, he was always acting as if he had some sort of idea what Loki was capable of – but nay, this one he would not expect. Loki dialed Anna’s delivery service and luckily someone answered quickly.

“Hello, yes, this is Loki. I received the order I had paid for, but it was supposed to be sent to another address. Yes, as a gift. I understand I should have said about that immediately, but I was quite… baffled, yes, by the size of it all. I will pay extra if you come to pick up the things immediately and deliver them to the right address. Don’t worry about the frozen goods, I’m sure the receivers will be very happy they don’t have to dethaw them themselves! Thank you!”


End file.
